Random Paragraphs.

I can't exert the energy to properly write out one coherent post, so here you have my random thoughts formed into paragraphs:

Tomorrow is my first observation as a teacher at my new school. I’m not sweating it too much, but it is a bit awkward. I miss my old boss man who trusted me and knew that my instructional choices were sound. Ahhh well, I wanted and needed this shake-up, right? Right.

I found black beans today! Do you know how exciting this is for me? I haven’t had Mexican seasoned black beans in over two months! It is one of my favorite simple things to cook up in a pot, throw some shredded cheese and salsa on, and scoop up with tortillas. No, I didn’t find tortillas, but the black beans and shredded cheese will do for now.

Everything is in Chinese here. Even though Shanghai is supposedly a super Westernized city, it is still China. Don’t you dare expect anyone to cater to your English ass. You moved to China, dumb ass.

I’m really coming into my own here. Yesterday I read a book and a half after spending a few hours exploring the city. I regularly enjoy a few glasses of wine, and am in bed by 11 p.m. My life is quite nice and I go to bed pretty content with myself. I think it is easy to forget that I’m so very lucky to find contentment within myself. I have doubts, just like anyone else, but for the most part things are pretty okay in my head. I know who I am and I like that person. I acknowledge the mistakes and faults I have, but know that I can only become better by doing what is right in the future so there is no reason to dwell. I know there are people in this world that know me to the core, and there is comfort in that. They may not be near location wise, but they are out there, loving me from afar. And right now that is the best kind of love in the world. 

Nightmares are telling. I remember a time when I told my friend’s mom that I wished that I didn’t remember my dreams. That I wish I could wake up without remembering a thing. Her reaction wasn’t good. Now, I don’t mind waking up and recalling my dreams that much. Of course there is the occasional “nightmare” and I am able to process it and ground myself in the reality of why such a thing is floating around in the back of my head. It isn’t really that hard to figure out, anymore.

I wrote a really ridiculous e-mail to a Michigan State loan officer today. I rambled on about how long international mail takes. I haven’t gotten a reply yet. Also, it is total bullshit that I can’t easily get my money in China to pay my U.S. loans. People use Western Union here! I thought that was an evil, overcharging son of a bitch company?!

Cheers. Yes, I'm about a half of a bottle of wine deep.