I’ve had a life
of relationships- probably more so than most people at the age of 30. I was
dealt a hand a bit different than most people in that my family doesn’t qualify
as what most people perceive as family. I don’t speak with them, and it was
ultimately my decision. It took me a long time to sever such an abusive,
inappropriate relationship but I’m a better person for it.
Independent lady.
Yep.
Everyone needs
his or her own people- a sense of home, people that love you at your ugliest
and tell you that they are proud of you at your most beautiful. Although I no
longer allow myself to give myself hope when it comes to the family that I was
granted by birth, I am human and need connection. I treat my friends as family.
Some people get
it- they understand that I view them as my family and treat me the same way. It
isn’t something that is spoken about often, but they know to invite me to
holidays and love me when I’m down.
Living in China
has obviously changed this dynamic. They just know to be in touch. And I have
to say that I am a lucky, lucky girl. I have friends who have made an effort to
know what I’m going through and be as with me through the experience as
possible. Healthy friendship boundaries, yeaaaaaah!
It’s funny,
though, because I now know what it is like to have great friends. In talking to
one of my new Shanghai friends today (a lovely Canadian named Shane), I
realized that I’ve been through some pretty serious shit (two scary cancer
centered surgeries in an eight month span, amongst other awfulness not to be
mentioned here) and I’ve had some wonderful people hold me up through all of
that. I am lucky to find myself in another place where I realize that I do, in
fact, have a family.
Shanghai hasn’t
been easy on me, but my heart has been able to see the light so much more with
the constant encouragement and love from the people back home. So many people
have told me how proud of me they are- and I can’t say I would ever have been
able to do this without the love and support of my friends (cheerleaders).
<3
Which one am I in that photo? :)
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