Sunday, October 7, 2012

love to my homies.



I’ve had a life of relationships- probably more so than most people at the age of 30. I was dealt a hand a bit different than most people in that my family doesn’t qualify as what most people perceive as family. I don’t speak with them, and it was ultimately my decision. It took me a long time to sever such an abusive, inappropriate relationship but I’m a better person for it.

Independent lady. Yep.

Everyone needs his or her own people- a sense of home, people that love you at your ugliest and tell you that they are proud of you at your most beautiful. Although I no longer allow myself to give myself hope when it comes to the family that I was granted by birth, I am human and need connection. I treat my friends as family.

Some people get it- they understand that I view them as my family and treat me the same way. It isn’t something that is spoken about often, but they know to invite me to holidays and love me when I’m down.

Living in China has obviously changed this dynamic. They just know to be in touch. And I have to say that I am a lucky, lucky girl. I have friends who have made an effort to know what I’m going through and be as with me through the experience as possible. Healthy friendship boundaries, yeaaaaaah!

It’s funny, though, because I now know what it is like to have great friends. In talking to one of my new Shanghai friends today (a lovely Canadian named Shane), I realized that I’ve been through some pretty serious shit (two scary cancer centered surgeries in an eight month span, amongst other awfulness not to be mentioned here) and I’ve had some wonderful people hold me up through all of that. I am lucky to find myself in another place where I realize that I do, in fact, have a family.

Shanghai hasn’t been easy on me, but my heart has been able to see the light so much more with the constant encouragement and love from the people back home. So many people have told me how proud of me they are- and I can’t say I would ever have been able to do this without the love and support of my friends (cheerleaders). <3

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